BRING OUT YOUR DEAD

ScumSomebody somewhere is probably running a sweepstake as we speak, taking bets on which household name will be next to kick the bucket in 2016. Were I a betting man, I’d wager Bruce Forsyth is a good candidate. He’s 88, after all; and recent reports suggest his health isn’t exactly blooming. Should, God forbid, Brucie bite the bullet before the year is out, one doesn’t exactly require a degree in rocket science to predict the media response when he goes.

News bulletins will make the announcement of his passing the lead story. We’ll be served up a montage of his best bits stitched together by a television obituary editor four or five years ago, encompassing ‘Sunday Night at the London Palladium’, ‘The Generation Game’, ‘Play Your Cards Right’, ‘Strictly Come Dancing’, and – if we’re lucky – a rare glimpse of the legendary car-crash that was ‘Bruce’s Big Night’, the show that persuaded viewers going out was preferable to an evening in front of the TV set. After this, we’ll be treated to a couple of special tribute programmes on both BBC1 and ITV, featuring talking heads rhapsodising about how great Brucie was, even though he was still alive and kicking when they were asked to discuss him in the past tense.

To be honest, this has been the pattern when famous faces snuff it for decades, and the whole coverage will be rounded off by footage of a service in honour of Brucie’s memory on the news, one where spotting decrepit old entertainers arriving at the church will at some point be accompanied by a ‘I thought they were dead’ comment. However, there’s a new element to the passing of national treasures now. Barely will the soil have settled beneath the headstone before a previously silent voice from the past will emerge onto the same front pages that praised Brucie a couple of months before, declaring Brucie groped/raped/molested/murdered them in the 70s.

Rather uniquely, Brucie was captured on camera having a shifty squeeze of a middle-aged lady’s ample bosom on a 1972-ish edition of ‘The Generation Game’. The original uncut version may well still be on YouTube somewhere, but it’s here in this spoof; if your stomach can’t take the foul-mouthed festival that precedes it, fast forward to 13:42…

Now, of course, I am in no way suggesting the still-living Bruce Forsyth was a child-raping Satanic sexual deviant or that he in any way had a hand in the disappearance of Madeleine McCann when he was at the peak of his popularity; I’ll leave that kind of speculation to the Survivors™, the Victims™, the Mail and the Express, ITV’s documentary department, and the ambulance-chasing law-firms that will all have a vested interest in such flights of fancy once he’s been banished to that great game show studio in the sky. Besides, they’re too busy at the moment unburdening their bladders on other graves down here whilst TV archivists spend yet more exhausting hours hacking their way through old programmes to remove the presence of any newly-classified perverts.

It was interesting that the widow of the late Clement Freud should issue an ‘apology’ to those who were apparently exposed to his alleged sexual perversions, as though to do so was a pre-emptive response to evade Sonia Sutcliffe-style accusations heading in her direction. Of course, what happens next is out of her hands and will never be in them. Her late husband’s long life, career and reputation have been trashed overnight and – until the distant day when the sun can be sighted hovering over our dark horizon – permanently. The fresh-from-therapy accusers are, naturally, telling the truth; the police are, naturally, taking these accusations seriously (probably regarding them as ‘credible and true’); and everyone on social media bar those prepared to be showered in a barrage of bile must accept the consensus that one more dead man whose wit, intelligence and bewildering array of talents are utterly at odds with the comfy mediocrity of the present day was a despicable pervert who got away with murder for decades because his POWER condemned those who suffered at his hands to a silence that was only broken by the secure knowledge that the dead can’t sue and the living will pay handsomely for a good sob story.

Show me the next deceased celeb, and I’ll show you the next retrospective Paedo. Place your bets now.


GEORGE THE TURD

TwatWith polls giving the Brexit camp a lead over the Remain brigade, a day when Nigel Farage and Bob Geldof exchanged certain highly apt hand gestures at each other from competing battle barges on the Thames has seen Gideon pull out his most laughable threat yet in the ongoing saga of Project Fear. The Chancellor promises an ‘austerity budget’ is being prepared should the electorate go against his wishes, punishing the people if they dare to vote leave. So, the school bully who has joined his fellow scaremongers in promising billions will suddenly shower down on all the public services he’s spent the past six years dismantling and destroying with such ruthless relish and callous disregard is now taking control of the impending apocalypse by planning to bring about a self-fulfilling prophesy.

This is perhaps the clearest indication yet that with barely one week to go to Euro D Day, the Remain team are getting increasingly desperate. Any further despicable gimmicks on this scale and more and more don’t-knows are not going to view staying in the EU as a viable alternative to leaving it. If George Osborne’s gamble backfires, part of me hopes it spells the end for him more than it spells the end for Britain’s membership of a club that couldn’t be more unattractive if it was run by Peter Stringfellow. The way things are going Osborne could well prove to be Brexit’s greatest asset, the nauseating little slimeball.

© The Editor

https://www.epubli.co.uk/shop/buch/48495#beschreibung

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8 thoughts on “BRING OUT YOUR DEAD

  1. It’s a bit odd, the whole Clement Freud thing. After being contacted by the main complainant with a copy of her manuscript (which took 12 years to write) the honest, hard-working and diligent investigative journalists of, er, ITV’s ‘Exposure’ went on a search for some corroboration.

    They found this in a 2009 comment on a blog. The blog owner was able to put the programme makers in contact with the individual responsible for this:

    “Writing as one of his 1000s of sexual ‘victims’, still surviving, terrified as I write for fear he is not yet quite yet dead – the man was an evil, conniving, ruthless user for his own bottomless ego of all he came into contact with.
    Our children – boys and girls are all that much safer for his demise.
    And that is just the tip of an iceberg of political and media dirty dealings that reaches into the heart of the broken Britain he has left behind him.
    His family will now, unfortunately, reap the rage and revenge of those he destroyed and their much needed justice for his many heinous – still untold – actions.”

    And that was that!

    The apparent apology by his widow might mean something, I suppose, but given that he died seven years ago I’m finding it hard to muster much interest. Might be time for JAM-fans to secure their archives, though, before the inevitable purge begins.
    (His widow has gone – in the space of a few hours – from being ‘presumably unaware of the abuse’ to encouraging an alleged victim into his/their bed. Looks like the apology didn’t quite do the trick, then. Let the madness begin!)

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  2. You’re wrong in describing George Osborne as a ‘nauseating little slimeball’ – he’s a nauseating BIG slimeball, possibly one of the nastiest of a nasty bunch in politics today, on all sides of the House.
    His ‘instant austerity budget’ threat really is the last throw of the dice for Remain, it’s their nothing-to-lose-now, their nuclear option and it looks like it’s blowing up in his, and their, faces.
    There is a degree of schadenfreude when something like this happens, particularly when it’s emerging from a rare opportunity for all the ‘little people’ to stick it to the privileged, pontificating and patronising politicos like Gideon – it is quite possible that ‘Leave’ will win next week mainly for that reason, which would actually be the wrong reason although, to my mind, the right result, so I’ll take that.

    I have no knowledge of Clement Freud beyond his many public appearances in his many guises, where he proved to be a consistently witty and entertaining performer on many stages. I suppose we should not be surprised if yet another Lib-Dem is exposed as having an unconventional sexual history, as that seems to have been a pre-requisite for membership since Jeremy Thorpe or even Jo Grimmond. It appears from some reports that Lady Jill Freud is not without her own history of creative sexual experiences, although that suggestion should not entitle us to put two and two together and get a foursome.
    I’m awaiting the next revelations about Sooty & Sweep any day now – surely anyone who spends their whole TV career with some bloke’s hand up each of their arses cannot be without stone-castworthy sin.

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  3. As a Remainer, I could quite cheerfully have punched all of George’s teeth out when he came out with his punishment budget bullshit. It’s the budget he’s been itching to give since 2010 anyway. Nothing will change the day after Brexit (heaven forfend), or even the month or the year – bond yields may fluctuate and so may exchange rates, but the legal process to leave the EU takes at least two years and people will be waiting for the terms before any shit hits any fans.

    As for Geldof – that’s the sort of behaviour I would have loved to have seen from Remain since the referendum was called. Imagine Dave giving the Mother Fist and her Five Daughters sign to Johnson, Farage and Gove during a tv debate. He’d be relaxing now as his point would have been simply and effectively made.

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  4. Talking of ‘the dead’ – it seems we now have a dead MP, rising star, international mourning even though Obama didn’t know where Yorkshire was. Watch out for more security issues and over-protection for MPs out of this. Let’s also not forget all of those people MPs send to the deaths, whether in Iraq or as a result of poverty or benefit problems. MPs are NOT INNOCENT

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    1. The electorate gives its MPs authority to act on its behalf as they see fit, sometimes they get it wrong, sometimes their actions lead to serious consequences, but it is unfair to label them all as ‘not innocent’, i.e. ‘guilty’.
      Amongst the canon of less-than-innocent MPs, Jo Cox was probably one least likely to warrant the brutal and fatal treatment she received.
      At a personal level, I may have disagreed with her on most things, but I respect the position she held and the principled stances she took – Parliament, and the rest of us, are much the poorer for her undeserved demise.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. To me, the shocked reactions of the Westminster crowd that I saw on TV appeared pretty genuine compared to the standard contrived concern expressed in response to a death; I suppose they were acutely aware it could have been them. I’ve largely avoided the ‘messages of condolence’ on social media, though I did touch upon that train of thought in this post from January…https://winegumtelegram.wordpress.com/2016/01/16/vapid-response/

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