CLOSE YOUR EYES AND COUNT TO ZERO

vlcsnap-2022-11-12-16h54m29s679Who says satire is dead? Well, I’ve said it plenty of times – an opinion based largely on the dearth of satire on TV & radio (or the pitiful post-Brexit/Trump excuse that passes for satire in the 2020s). But I stand corrected as, like many, I saw one of the best satirical sketches since the heyday of Chris Morris the other day, featuring a genius new comic character – a parody of a posh activist on a par with past creations satirising pop culture archetypes, such as Ali G. This character went by the name of Indigo Rumbelow, and whilst on the surface she owes an undoubted debt to Andrew Doyle’s well-established intersectional feminist icon Titania McGrath, by making Rumbelow part of the climate change death cult, whoever created her hit on a canny contemporary angle to distinguish her from Doyle’s brilliantly accurate trust-funded SJW. Another factor that gave Indigo Rumbelow a distinctive gimmick was the presence of a straight man; he went by the name of Mark Austin, and his suit-and-tie newsreader style provided the perfect foil for Rumbelow’s studied scruffiness characteristic of the young middle-classes slumming it as faux-Bohemians. The whole performance was so well-observed you’d almost believe it was for real.

The sketch took the form of an interview, with straight man Austin grilling Rumbelow on the protest tactics of Just Stop Oil, the imaginary fruitcake fringe outfit to which she was supposed to belong. What made it so funny was that every time Austin tried to ask her what she thought the organisation’s infantile acts of civil disobedience achieved for her cause, Rumbelow had no answer and replied by reciting her apocalyptic mantra, screeching it over the top of Austin like some wild-eyed, possessed banshee whose voice increased several shaky octaves as she became more animated in the face of her inability to justify her counterproductive activism. It was a spot-on pastiche of the kind of privileged, attention-seeking narcissists with daddy issues that the real-life equivalent of these cults tend to attract; at one point she dismissed the concerns Austin voiced about the economy during a cost-of-living crisis and how Rumbelow’s simplistic solution to the world’s ills would make life even worse for anyone beyond her cosseted bubble – and it was easily the funniest thing I’ve seen on mainstream TV in years. Mark my words: one day, they’ll include this scene in a comedy compilation along with Basil Fawlty’s goosestep, David Brent’s dance, and Del Boy falling over at the bar.

I think this new satirical comedy series featuring the hilarious character Indigo Rumbelow was called ‘Sky News’; I’ve not heard of it before, but I’ll be keeping an eye open for the next time it’s on – certainly if the one sketch I saw was an indication of the quality comedy it intends to provide. Ah…hold on a minute…I’ve just been belatedly informed this ‘Sky News’ show is actually a genuine news channel, and Indigo Rumbelow wasn’t the inspired caricature of a posh activist I assumed, but is unfortunately the real thing, an utter car-crash of a saleswoman for her movement. Well, in my defence, it’s an easy mistake to make when one watches her performance. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone so spectacularly fail to convert viewers to their cause and in the process expertly confirm (if not strengthen) the existing opinion of Just Stop Oil as a creepy coalition of bored rich-kids and yoghurt-knitting hippies whose fanatical, tunnel-vision obsession borders on a religious cult that cannot handle the challenging voices of non-believers.

If one tots-up the cheap stunts Just Stop Oil and its affiliated loony tunes have inflicted on precious works of art, monuments to national heroes and the Queen’s (King’s?) Highway of late, it’s not hard to come to the conclusion that this cult is one with nihilism at its core. If you deconstruct anything and strip it of all meaning, there is no longer any barrier to destroying it because it’s without value, utterly worthless; everything becomes a housefly to be whacked with a rolled-up newspaper, an action entered into bereft of guilt or conscience because the dying fly means nothing. If you don’t care about something, you don’t care about its continued existence; indeed, you’d prefer it to end – if not actively attempting to accelerate that end, which is precisely the real motivation of such ‘activists’, emphasising the comparisons with brainwashed evangelicals praying for the Rapture with a copy of the Good Book in one hand and a can of Kool-Aid in the other, counting down the days to the end of days. And they want to take all of us with them, desperately determined to convert us to their deranged, demented death-wish, like coke-addled Jehovah’s Witnesses. Just Stop Oil or Extinction Rebellion don’t want to save the world; they want to end it. And the few survivors in the ashes, scrabbling around for bugs to feast on, will need a privately-educated, elite class to rule over them – which is when the instigators of the cult will emerge from their bunkers to initiate the planet’s second ‘Golden Age’ as we resume the feudal order of olde.

The countless Doomsday predictions from the special-needs wing of the climate change lobby could rival Neil Ferguson in terms of plucking worst-case-scenario imaginary stats out of the air; over the past quarter-century we’ve been bombarded with such predictions, most of which have pencilled-in future dates at which we were scheduled to pass the point of no return. Having subsequently survived all of these dates intact, the goalposts are simply (and quietly) moved so that ecological Armageddon remains safely ten years hence. Some of the most mind-bogglingly cuckoo statements yet heard dripped from the lips of Indigo Rumbelow during her Sky News appearance; talk of ‘birds falling from the sky’ during last summer’s heat-wave or attributing floods in Pakistan to climate change when long-term deforestation of the country has more to answer for were dispatched as though they were facts in the same way a head-shaking resident of the US Bible Belt will repeatedly declare ‘God created Adam and Eve’ when presented with evidence of the origins of our species. The sudden upsurge in public protests has been the petulant, foot-stamping response to the increasing proof contradicting their faith, the cries of Kidults to whom nobody has ever said the word ‘no’, like some latter-day Violet Elizabeth Bott from ‘Just William’.

It matters not to them that sitting down in the middle of the road prevents a mother collecting her children from school, a son missing his father’s funeral or a cancer patient being unable to make it to hospital for life-saving treatment; it matters not to them that the Chief Constable of Essex Police has been moved to state, ‘I think it is only a matter of time before somebody gets killed. The only way this is going to stop is if Just Stop Oil frankly grow-up and realise they are putting lives at risk.’ The fact a Chief Constable has come out with such a statement suggests the widespread exhaustion with stunts like weeping me-me-me activists ascending gantries on the M25, forcing road closures and more commuter chaos, has finally breached the ideological walls of our police forces. So far, the police’s pathetic response to Just Stop Oil – idly standing by, failing to move them on, and presenting us with yet another example of today’s two-tier policing – has forced members of the public to adopt vigilante tactics; perhaps now that the angry mood of the plebs with these deluded, hysterical extroverts has prompted a Chief Constable to issue an unusually stark warning, our alleged law-enforcers will actually intervene.

Virtually everything the likes of Just Stop Oil indulge in deters Joe Public from any semblance of sympathy with their cause. They also provide the opposing extreme – the lunatic fringes of climate change deniers to whom everything is a conspiracy theory (probably due to the Jews) – with additional ammunition, as well as risking the further extension of legislation to limit any form of public demonstration and thus curb civil liberties even more than the pandemic managed. But at least they can write a good comedy sketch, eh?

© The Editor

Website: https://www.johnnymonroe.co.uk/

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/user?fan_landing=true&u=56665294

Vimeo: https://vimeo.com/769970801

6 thoughts on “CLOSE YOUR EYES AND COUNT TO ZERO

  1. Just Stop Oil and Extinction rebellion seem to be funded by bored billionaires. Such as oil heiress Aileen Getty. Not sure what the purpose is, other than to discredit eco activism. There are plenty of videos doing the rounds of them hammering nails into petrol pumps and another lot going into shops and pouring milk on the floor. Do they propose any alternatives? eg. a large wind turbine uses 700 gallons of oil a year and only has a lifespan of 15-25 years before going into land fill, composite blades cannot be recycled yet.

    Climate change, climate crisis and now climate emergency, probably climate Armageddon to follow soon, can all be added to the list of things that never happened. 1960s Oil gone in 10 years, 1970s Ice age in 10 years, 1980s Acid rain will destroy all crops in 10 years, 1990s Ozone Layer gone in 10 years, 2000s ice caps gone in 10 years.
    I am certain it used to called weather. Look out of the window and the weather is the same as it ever was, perhaps even better, we now have red kites again in Wales and grayling in the Taff, which used to run black.

    The whole environmental movement seems to have become nothing more than a grift (anyone for carbon trading?) . No matter what people do it is never enough, we have paint stripper that only strips your wallet, petrol that won’t last and rots your cars internals, paint that requires more coats and poor quality lightbulbs, that cost several times more than the ones they replaced. Electric cars are a disaster in the making, mining for lithium will cause far more damage than coal, because it has geopolitical consequences.

    Environmentalism has missed an opportunity to clean up industrial pollution and make the world a better place It is now just a big stick to beat the poor with.

    Apologies for the length of this post.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. No need to apologise. I’m glad you were able to highlight some of the things I didn’t have the space to squeeze into the post. I’d actually forgotten all about acid rain; it was something of a Next Big Thing buzz-word in the mid-80s, coming hot on the heels of the unprecedented coverage given to AIDS. Looking back, the success of that campaign in scaring the shit out of the people opened the doors for a slew of apocalyptic narratives in the same way Covid has over the past couple of years. It seems Project Fear, like fashion, comes around in cycles.

      Like

  2. Indeed it does, thankfully having grown up with public information films some of us are prepared for everything, from dangerous abandoned fridges to rabid dogs. I was in school when the AIDS thing was big and the whole school was dragged off to some “Legs Akimbo” theatre style production to learn about it. The AIDS tribute act known as Monkeypox never captured the public imagination but Foot and Mouth did a second tour in the early naughties and Saddam Hussein made a comeback. It seems nuclear war has been resurrected to keep the news in business. Perhaps I can find a flat pack nuclear shelter on offer in the middle of Lidl.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. If you strike it lucky in Lidl, don’t forget to take the Protect & Survive advice of Neil from ‘The Young Ones’ and store your cheesy chicken mini-bites in the ‘Food Zone’.

      Like

  3. I don’t doubt Ms Rumbelow and her chums have sincerely held beliefs, but like you I feel there is somebody pulling the strings. Presumably in an attempt to discredit the climate change scenario.
    So what about the “ozone hole”. Well it still exists, but it has beeen stabilized at about the ’70s level by the Montreal protocol which banned and severely limited the most damaging pollutants (there are alternatives so it was a relatively easy fix).
    Acid rain you say – coal burning in developed countries has had to incorporate flue gas desulphurizers for many decades and transport fuel now has the sulphur removed in the refining process.
    Carbon dioxide is much more of a problem. It has been known since the 19th century that putting CO2 into the atmosphere will affect the temperature.
    Now we know that there are so many hydrocarbon reserves that are we not about to run out. That means that some kind of climate change is inevitable.
    Despite what the UK might do there are developing economies (China, India, Africa) that are not going to play along. I feel we would be better spending our resources on mitigation rather than going all out for “carbon neutral”.

    Liked by 1 person

Comments are closed.